Review: $#*! My Dad Says

Title: $#*! My Dad Says
Author: Justin Halpern
Pages: 158
Rating: 3/5

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice (goodreads.com).

This past winter, hubby and I found ourselves rolling on the floor laughing at the new comedy starring William Shatner, called "$#*! My Dad Says."  At the time, I had no clue it was actually based on a book and that there was a man as funny and too the point as William Shatner's character.   However, after a little research, I discovered that it was based on a true story and had to get the book.

At times, $#*! My Dad Says had me rolling on the floor laughing.  I one point I had tears falling from my eyes.  However, at other times, I found myself being quite put off by the language used, and found it to be a bit offensive.  I certainly wouldn't recommend this book to just anyone.

Halpern's father is too the point, crude and also, in a strange way, extremely loving.  While at times, I was extremely taken aback by what he had to say, I totally understood the point he was trying to make.  Despite his tough exterior, Halpern's father truly cares about his son and it shows through on the pages of this book.  All in all, $#*! My Dad Says was a decent read, but now one I'll be returning to any time soon.

Review: Pretty in Plaid

Title: Pretty in Plaid: A Memoir
Author: Jen Lancaster
Pages: 363
Rating: 5/5

In Pretty in Plaid, Jen Lancaster reveals how she developed the hubris that perpetually gets her into trouble. Using fashion icons of her youth to tell her hilarious and insightful stories, readers will meet the girl she used to be.

Think Jen Lancaster was always "like David Sedaris with pearls and a super-cute handbag?" (Jennifer Coburn) Think again. She was a badge-hungry Junior Girl Scout with a knack for extortion, an aspiring sorority girl who didn't know her Coach from her Louis Vuitton, and a budding executive who found herself bewildered by her first encounter with a fax machine. In this humorous and touching memoir, Jen Lancaster looks back on her life—and wardrobe—before bitter was the new black and shows us a young woman not so very different than the rest of us.

The author who showed us what it was like to wait in line at the unemployment office with a Prada bag, how living in the city can actually suck, and that losing weight can be fun with a trainer named Barbie and enough Ambien is ready to take you on a hilarious and heartwarming trip down memory lane in her shoes (and very pretty ones at that) (Cover Blurb).

I aboslutely adore Jen Lancaster and her writings. I've been waiting for this new memoir to come out forever and couldn't get to Borders fast enough to pick it up. I made myself stop from starting this until we were on the road for vacation and flew through it in less than 24 hours. Unlike Jen's other novels that tell about the present, Pretty in Plaid tells the story of Jen's life from childhood. We get to see what Jen was like when she was in Brownies, her 11 years of college, and before meeting her husband Fletch.

This book was just as snarky and humorous as her first three, and contained many of those laugh out loud, pee your pants moments (I'm glad no one was sitting near me as I finished this up on th beach this morning). I would highly recommend this to someone who just needed to get away for a few hours, and wanted to forget their lives and read about someone else's for awhile!

Review: Bless Your Heart Tramp and Other Southern Endearments

Title: Bless Your Heart, Tramp and Other Southern Endearments
Author: Celia Rivenbark
Pages: 208
Rating: 3.5/5

Step into the wacky world of “womanless wedding” fund-raisers, in which Bubbas wear boas. Meet two sisters who fight rural boredom by washing Budweiser cans and cutting them into pieces to make clothing. Learn why the word snow sends any right-thinking Southerner careening to the Food Lion for extra loaves of bread and little else.

Humor columnist and slightly crazed belle-by-birth Celia Rivenbark tackles these and other lard-laden subjects in Bless Your Heart, Tramp, a hilarious look at Southern---and just plain human---foibles, up-close and personal. So pour yourself a glass of sweet tea and curl up on the pie-azza with Bless Your Heart, Tramp (Cover Blurb).

I've been trying out different "humor" writers lately to see if there is anyone that can hold me over until the next Jenn Lancaster book comes out (May 5 cannot get here soon enough --- however, I'm keeping the new book until vacation on the 15th to read on the beach!!). I've heard really good things about Celia Rivenbark and thought I would give her a try.

This book definitely had its funny moments. I did find myself laughing out loud and nodding in agreement at a few different things, especially during the last third of the book. Rivenbark writes about real life, and some of the stupid real life things that people do. One of my favorite stories had to do with a train accident and clean underwear. I cannot help but admit that my mother is one of those "you should always keep a clean pair of underwear in your glove box in case you are ever in an accident" types. I, however, have never heeded her advise. I mean how embarrassing would it be to open your glove box one day in front of someone from work or something, and underwear falls out...the horror!! I'll take my chances thank you very much!

I have two more books by Rivenbark to read and I'll definitely be giving them a chance in the near future.

Review: My Horizontal Life

Title: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands
Author: Chelsey Handler
Pages: 213
Rating: 1/5

In this raucous collection of true-life stories, actress and comedian Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.

Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning (Cover Blurb).

Let me just start this review by saying, I love Chelsey Handler. I watched (and will again when I don't go to bed at nine) her show Chelsey Lately every night before going to bed. She always can make me laugh, and I've never been disappointed in her comedy. And then, I read this book.

This was the LOOOOONGEST 213 pages I think I have ever tackled in my entire life. If I didn't have this weird thing where I have to finish a book, I would have wall banged it a long time ago. This book took me over a week to read. I couldn't wait to finish it. I was so disappointed.

I knew this book would be raunchy. Handler's comedy often is, and that was fine with me. However, it was just plain stupid. And almost bordering on disgusting. I cannot imagine why anyone would want to advertise how many people they had randomly slept with. I know, I know, the title should of been a warning. I should of seen the caution light when I picked this one up at Borders. All I can say is that I was obviously doped up on cold medicine at the time.

Plus, I don't think this book showcased Handler's comedic ability at all. I laughed once while reading this. Maybe I'm just not funny anymore, or don't appreciate humor like I used to but it didn't do anything for me. It certainly wasn't like Jenn Lancaster's books. Or Laurie Notaro's. With those, I go running into the living room, reading passages out loud to my husband, while I snort and gasp for air and pee my pants all at the same time because I'm laughing so hard.

I'm pretty sure I won't be giving "Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsey" a try next time I'm at the bookstore, and this one is already pending with someone on Paperbackswap so its off to a new home, where possible it will be loved.

Review: I Love Everybody (And Other Atrocious Lies)

Title: I Love Everybody (And Other Atrocious Lies)
Author: Laurie Notaro
Pages: 226
Rating: 4.5/5

Laurie is married, mortgaged, and now--miraculously--employed in the corporate world, discovering that bosses come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of mental stability. After maxing out her last good credit card at Banana Republic, she's dressed for success and ready to face the jungle: surviving feral, six-foot-plus Gretchen ("Three Thousand Faces of Eve") before battling the overbearing, overstuffed (in way-too-small pants) new mom Suzzi, who ruthlessly cancels Laurie's newspaper column and learns that payback can be a bitch. Laurie also explores the backstabbing world of preschoolers at a Halloween party, the X-rated madness of a family trip to Disneyland, and the pressure from her QVC-addicted mother and the rest of the world to reproduce. But while losing more friends to babies than to booze, she realizes there's a plus side: at least for a couple of months she gets to be the thinner friend.

I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) is Laurie Notaro at her deliciously quirky best. Can a woman prone to what her loved ones might term "meltdowns" (she considers them "Opportunities to Enlighten") put a smile on her face and love everybody? Take a guess (Cover Blurb).

I am a huge fan of Jenn Lancaster's books so when I asked the girl at Borders if she knew of any similiar authors, she quickly pointed me towards Laurie Notaro. So with her recommendation in hand, I purchased every book Ms. Notaro had ever published and ran home where I promptly sat them on the self and forgot about them. Monday, as I was searching for something to read, I stumbled upon that pile and thought I'd give it a quick try. It was the best quick try ever!!

This book is absolutely, 100% hilarious. At one point, I was laughing so hard that tears ran down my face and my husband thought he would have to call an ambulance. I laughed at work, I laughed at home, I laughed in the waiting room of the vets office. I am Laurie Notaro's biggest new fan... :). I think the funniest thing about this book, and Jenn Lancaster's books also, is that they are real. These things are normal things that would happen to anyone - just given a whole new light.

This book is exactly what I needed to lift me out of my "short" reading slump and I'm back on track now for the month. I highly recommend this book if you need a break from real life and just a really good laugh!